Once upon a Crime ...

The hospital I enter in,
Clocked in, time to let the fun begin. 
Got my coffee in hand. 
Stethoscope around neck,
For breath sounds check
Still early, but I'm awake
Headache from last night drinking
I try to shake from 2 motrins I take 
At Bed 1: I overheard a woman say
"Dear Lord dont take my baby today" 
As I watch the mother pray standing over her son shot in the chest and face
On life support sedated , restrained because he's altered and agitated 
Barely making it 
Vital signs, sometimes falling behind, 
The 2 blood transfusions seem to have helped him 
Semi stabilized
The only thing saved him was his hand that took most of the shots, 4 fingers now lost, 
as it blocked his head, his last words before we intubated 
He said Was " please, don't let me die please... " soo many young men watched deceased 
Watched mothers scream, yell 
WHY as they cling to their son and his bloody sheets 
And again tomorrow it repeats
The hardest are never the ones on the streets or on a HIPHOP beat
But the family's in pain , dealing with a loved one slained
If u only see what we see, 
Theres more to the story, never No glory
Life is meerily not a dream
Like once upon a time, 
More like once upon a crime
No time to wipes my eyes, 
In my room 2
I got a baby by the age of 2
Bruised and sexually abused by mommys boyfriend 
Drunk after drinking dry gin
...He did it again 
Who's to blame the boyfriend?
Or mommy thats sick, 
With tummy tuck and fake tits, again pregnant, abortion 6 times, still smoking cigarettes 
Positive for cocaine 
Cuz she can give a shit
Only cares about smoking crack, sucking dick, 
when she gonna learn ?
And gets offended 
By questions from social Work, like " WEre did your baby get these cigarette burns ?" 
Another chapter, to another page it's turned
Each day is a something new, each day is another issue, 
Some is funny shit 
I dare not kid you
Like this one guy coming in all high , feeling he's gonna die 
Anxious & restless 
Telling me, he ate for the first time, weed brownies
I tell em 
" look theres other people with bigger problems, I'll be right with You just have a seat
Stop acting HP"
He says HP ? 
I say classic symptoms, of Hispanic Panic "definitely 
acting like "I can't Brief" ...
Maybe not too funny, but that shots funny to me
But time...
Take my break, outside
For a small breather for relief
Say to myself "good grief" 
But I know , tomorrow is never promised, &
take the moment to say thank you, 
tell a love one "Love you", and
Course to the one above you
don't be a thug, give a hug lol
But not to the wrong one, just might catch a slug
or from a female "catch the bug"
Today might be our last
but it's only a guess, treat each other with respect
And love never forget..
Damn ...5 minutes late
Gotta clock back in ..

The SNiper

I awoke early this morning.. 
3am in fact 
I wasn't exact, But I felt Anxious.. 
Today is the day, I will let my plan play 
Plant the seed to my foreplay 
of torture and pain 
Chaos and Dismay 
and Stand over the aftermath of bodies as they lay...slained 
Soiled in their pain 
I take an Ativan, go back to sleep and pray 
Pray for forgiveness.... to those 
with food and No Clothes 
Those with heaters but its really a stove 
those materialistic, f*ck*d up threw up and twisted living like clones 
Those ALive but like me... 
lare Alone 
6am im in my home, now fresh and dressed 
Tuck in my chrome 
finished up my Eggs & ham 
Put on the ammo belt around my waist 
Pack up the remainding to my Duffle bag, 
Silencer to back pocket, 
while I let my pants sag 
To the cigarette... 
I take the last drag 
Say to myself " theres nothing to fear, theres nothing to fear" 
Splash some water to my face as I shave looking at the mirror 
Packed, now im out, on my route 
Its New YEars Day, SO I know Alot of people will be around 
Before the malice 
I need some practive, Stopped at a nearby liqour store, 
grabbed some Seagrams and 7up, 
If tonights my night, then Im gonna get f*ck*d up. 
Walked to the counter, 
The man stares and tells me the price, 
I pay it no mind, throw at his face quarters and dimes, 
He yells " Buddy, You better pay for this?!" 
f*ck off, As I walk out, 
The man along with me steps out, I let 2 shots rang out, and 
d*mn I couldn't believe it, his brains popped out ! 
HAHAHAH 
I laugh and smirk to the nearby crowd, 
Place the silencer on, so now there wouldn't be louder sounds, only screams!! 
Commence the show, for the horror scenes ! 
....I shake, I shake, my eyes twitch, 
I scream !!! 
Sweaty in my sheets 
It was all.... 
a bad dream. 
I pour myself a cup of coffee, 
Because I dare not go back to sleep 

My Instagram

Just listening to my Thoughts

Life is sweet afterall
No matter what anybody says
Live life till you decay, while your alive today,
turn the city upside and round
Upside down the frowns
... Now ... I in a "new" life has been found
cherish while your still around
while I forever will be the clown, smiles and laughter
My children see my Pasture I lay
foundation through my love, my fear an love to the GOD above,
may he bless the time left in the hour glass 
Though @ times I might live it " fast" through my rebellious ways, 
Voodo child , I must say :) 
Dancing at times under the rain,
Hard to explain.., but let me explain
Let me be free, chilling asleep on the sands of the beach
Sounds of waves & wake up and read
Wake up drink and fall back asleep
But just let me breath
Release. And vent the cold I feel when I can't reveal
Its like life is twisted and disgusting
Everyone acting corrupt 
I can give a fuck
Except for my children
Just listen at my thoughts
No one feels like I do
So I'm soiled in my plots 
Strange stage of disarray 
Where I'm the observer 
The one that people don't care if the world runs over 
Kiss me right where I bend over
I happen to evade in the shade as the loner
)

Young and Rebellious

{{{WRote @ AGE 20 }}}
Where are we going? What are we really knowing showing?
When everyday can and will go wrong
Too many people singing sad songs….
Motheres at work feeding babies that aren’t raised in church
Father’s escaping the pain into liquor rain
Like medication of cool relaxation
No sense of finding the truth
Lord save the blundered youth, who don’t know No truth
Only what is seen, I told not to do
Do as I say, not as I portray
So at a young age I roamed stray
Played and escaped my communities violence
Hid my expressions in silence
And fought back in pen an paper
Write another thought into the blank page
Letting all feelings detonate like a grenade

4 Amy Winehouse on 8/23/2011

Amy Winehouse:
How can a life be innocently built
To die tragic ?
Drugs fade away the magic
And the end is never a story of Romantic
People ask, how did this happen? 
When the truth was known 2 most, by those far & close
Alas due to no one to guide her ..., from herself, Even adults sometimes need help, from themselves, 
She was charismatic, attractive and Rebbellious, 
She was alone, cold & saddened by other stories not by Us
The dark glamor after there is 
no more smiles and laughing 
No more pictures to be snapping,
Alls left is a shrine of dead flowers, liquor bottles and scribbles near your picture, and I don't judge 
Wish I could of gave you a HUG
Growing up , I did couple drugs 
More than the average but less than Courtney Love
What's fame? What's wealth ?
And you knew truth, like the words you felt and cards dealt
" I can't help you , if you don't help yourself"

10 minutes before my birthday (examining myself)

( written 11:50 on 8/12/2011 before turning 32). 
The realest words I ever wrote were words I never spoke 
Thoughts i had before I awoke 
The temperature , before it turns cold 
The time at the change of the hour 
I Lay quiet in my misfortune 
Remorsed in sin 
But that I wash myself of before the new year is to begin , a new age , 
A new stage to act and view 
Bless the last ten minutes 
Before I age thirty-two 
" weird scenes inside the goldmine" 
And so I ride it west, 
If lest we forget , where were headed 
The food in the pot is beheaded 
Nothing in my time I dreaded 
Nor regretted , 
Only seem to tested 
Face is tired because I haven't rested 
Blessed when.., 
The Final stage will be my smile as I exit the scene, 
tranquil i will lay serene 
after, burn my ashes with kerosene 
and throw me to the air over the ocean water 
By september 
So I can live on to remember, 
the good times 
Built in tragedy, love and sanity, 
experienced while abondened by all. 
Thank you to those that supported me, 
the opposite to those who waited on my downfall . 
Life is sweet afterall 
No matter what anybody says 
Live life till you decay, while your alive today, 
turn the city upside and round 
Upside down the frowns 
... Now ... I in "new" life has been found 
cherish while your still around, 
while I forever will be the clown, 
smiles and laughter, my children see my pasture 
I lay, foundation through my love, my fear an love to the above, 
may he bless the time left in the hour glass 
Though @ times I might live it " fast" through my rebellious ways, 
Voodo child , I must say :) 
Dancing at times under the rain, 
Though it can be hard to explain 
it keeps one away from pain, 
Helps to remain intact through social change 
Adapt in fact when nothing remains the same 

Noone know You but you

Life is unfair, U can be the best guy in the world, but it can still be unfair. I lost a son Back in 2007 at 6 mon, seen suicide, lost friends. Had my heart shattered and glued back together
Life is what U make it to be,
I choose to live my own way, not your way,
it made me who I am

"Lucid "

I walk the lonesome road, with the wind to my back 
Calming my inner self as I walk with each step 
And just forget 
Every joy, pain, suffering and debt
Every good and bad person I've met
Almost every emotion of my sense
And it makes sense!
Like happiness is the stillness of life
Freezed at the moment
The calm wind is the "coping"
Unlike a door , this always remains open
Thank you God
showing me, with my eyes closed
When things seem odd
And I find myself unbalanced 

The Social Game

The world is a very tricky place , you really have to be up on your toes
To expose these fake ass folks
Humor them with meaningless jokes
Thought provoke, and then U will develop a coax
Let them talk about themselves, but that's what everyone loves to do, they can care less if your stressed, can't  get up in the morning to get dressed or
Daily dilemmas that have you perplexed.
It's all , a social game  
Faces are different, but everyone acts the same
There's no one to blame.

A new day

What is of a day?
After Decay?
Life is like a stage, or show of a play
Without a screenplay, or re-rehearsed lines or phrases
No stunt doubles, The streets can be troubled
All classes of people can be far from humble
Observing, as sometimes I do from a street light
This poor man next to me, as I write, can hear his stomach grumble
Maybe I should buy him a sandwich?
Give him a temporary Break,
From begging and seeking the trash for scraps